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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?